It's amazing how in the blink of an eye, things can happen that completely put your entire life in perspective. The little things you worry about suddenly become irrelevant, and you realize how many wasted moments you have spent worrying about things that in the big scheme of life, are of little importance.
I woke up Monday morning tired from the events of the weekend. I spent most of Saturday helping set up for the Maryland Race for the Cure which was held on Sunday. My day started at 3:45 am on Sunday, so needless to say, I was still exhausted on Monday morning. After dropping the children off at school, I came home for a much needed bubble bath. I try to perform self breast exams at approximately the same time each month. Today was the day, and I performed what is usually a methodical, almost robot- like self exam. At 30 years old, I have always thought these exams served as a way to build a good habit, not really as a "real" screening method. This time, it was completely different. I found a lump and I knew it was unlike anything I have ever experienced before. I instantly became completely alert, and knew I needed to get dressed and head to my mother's house as soon as possible. I was completely stunned and don't even remember getting dressed. I drove to my moms house and ran out of the car saying absolutely nothing. All I could think to do was to lift my arm and place her hand on my discovery. Her only response was for me to call the doctor. It took a little bit for me to regain my senses and get on the phone. The woman in my doctor's office put me in for the next available appointment with a doctor. I was so glad that they were able to get me in so quickly. Having a mother who had breast cancer, and two aunts who had it also, I knew that I needed to take this seriously. I went in yesterday for my appointment, and it was pretty obvious how concerned my doctor was. He confirmed my finding and diagnosed it as a palpable axillary mass needing immediate evaluation and referred me to a breast surgeon, and radiology for a diagnostic mammogram, and a diagnostic ultrasound. The location of the mass concerned him, as it is in the axilla which is where the lymph nodes are located. He had my mom and I head directly downstairs, where he was calling radiology and letting them know I was on my way down to schedule my tests. He wanted a Radiologist present, not just a technician, and he wanted the results interpreted right away. Little did I know how difficult it would be to orchestrate all of this and get our insurance company to authorize a diagnostic mammogram because of my age. When we got downstairs to schedule the appointment, I was told that my doctor was in the process of calling the head of Radiology to authorize my mammogram. It is not in their typical protocol to do a mammogram on a 30 year old. This was news to me and even bigger news to my mom. After running back and forth and a few angry phone calls from my doctor, everything is scheduled for Monday, October 31st at 10 am. I am hoping for the best, but I am prepared for the possibilities. I know that no matter what, I will get through this. I have such a strong support system and I have two little men who need me around for a really long time. I allowed myself some "worry time" yesterday, and although I can't completely forget about what's going on, I refuse to let the possibilities scare me. I am much stronger than that...
Ladies, please take the time to do your self exams. Never had I imagined I'd ever find anything. You owe it to yourselves, your children, and everyone else in your life...
